Big, fat* Indian wedding

Yes, we are attending one tomorrow. More specifically, a Sikh Punjabi 'do'. The wedding is of a relative who hails from the Nottingham branch of the family. But don't ask me how we are related - I have no idea. My mother, at whose behest we are attending, launches into great details about the aunt-of, the cousin-of, the niece's husband's sister-in-law, but I am none the wiser! I need a diagram. Trouble is, I lose interest half way through...

We are all ready with our outfits, and will travel over tomorrow to my mother's to the west of London, near hounslow/heathrow. As you can see my outfit is particularly sparkly, yes, it reminds me too of a xmas tree. Unfortunately I didn't have time (or frankly, the inclination) to spend hours searching for something more sophisticated. The children (8 & nearly 10) are excited about going to an 'Indian party'. It's been ironic that I've turned to British descriptions of Indian dancing to explain to my inquisitive daughter how it's done - yes, the old change the light bulb with one hand, and pat the dog with the other, at the same time...(some people really do dance like that, but there are plenty of other moves too).

My mother is very excited to be attending such an event with her whole family, especially with all her grandchildren around her, something which happens increasingly less. But there will be an element of frisson in the mix tonight - in good old family tradition, there has for years been a schism between my mother and her sister which means that that they, and their supporters, don't talk to each other! This will be tricky to negotiate tomorrow night especially because I find it difficult to be (knowingly) rude to people. I shall take the 'third way' I think. There will be lots of showing-off and one-upmanship tomorrow night about who's got the best car, clothes, house, most successful children etc. I won't enter that race (much to my family's annoyance).

Lord knows what my (non-Asian) husband makes of it all - he goes along with it all very sportingly. I guess he married the package...

Aside from all this (!) I'm looking forward to it!

There may be some 'live-tweeting' from the wedding, now that I've got my new smart phone, if I'm not too busy with kids, relatives at war, and busting a few of my own moves...

*bit loathe to use this phrase given the horrible trouble caused by the Channel4 programme recently, but I don't want to lose it altogether because, since the 'Big Fat Greek' wedding days, it has been a really apt and useful phrase to describe a particular type of diasporic event